Almost 2 years ago I began a dialogue with one of my close friends about our need to combine resources. At this particular time we were focusing on housing. As the housing market began to dip I suggested that we (people in the United States) would have to begin to live together (like many new immigrants co-exist) just to survive these challenging economic times. Today I am witnessing the reality of our conversation.
In Georgia and in California I personally know of many people who have taken in "roommates, boarders, tenants, friends and family" to help save their homes or simply to make "ends meet". While most Americans never imagined living the American dream or even keeping the American dream would mean combining households; this strategy should not only come as a result of challenging economic times. Right now, there are people who recognize their financial situation has fizzled. A number of these citizens are shocked and stuck as a deer facing headlights. There is a solution.
If you are a homeowner or rent a home where you have a room or two to spare, renting is one way to bring in more finances. If you do decide to combine your home, there are a number of cautions and considerations to ponder. Knowing what your likes and dislikes are is key to finding a situation that benefits all parties. Recognizing that you will no longer be the only person occupying your home and accessing your ability to compromise and combine your living space will determine the path you should take.
There is a sight for mothers who want to join their resources which has a program called "co-abode". This site has helped single mothers come together on many levels for many years. I am aware of other sites but to keep from soliciting I suggest you search this topic online for similiar services in your area. While you travel the path to creating positive change remember, never act as if you are desperate... No matter how tight your finances are today, whether you have a home or need a house share arrangement, you are a resource and a person of value.
Today with Angela Rena focuses on all aspects of "change". Today with Angela Rena anticipates corresponding with you. As a "resource" - we invite you to share what you have done to help create positive change in your home and in your community. Specifically, this blog would like to solicit your thoughts on "combined living spaces". Please share your knowledge and experience to help create positive change in others lives.
While I support your idea as a very noble cause, those interested in participating should consider things very carefully and not rush into something they may live to regret. What seems like a good idea today, may turn into a nightmare in a very short time and remain so for quite a long time. Taking strangers into one's home has obvious risks and I'm sure everyone is aware of this and will exercise caution. But when one knows of a friend in need and wishes to help them, often times they rush into a decision letting their heart blind them to the possible difficulties they will face with two families sharing the one living space. Different lifestyles and conflicting personalities can make living conditions miserable for both families and could possibly ruin a very good and dear friendship. Maybe this person is the perfect friend when you see them on the street or at work every day, but when they are in your home 24/7, maybe you'll see a side of them you never experienced before and one you don't like. The issue is important enough that you'll tolerate a lot more than you'd think because you love this person and their family very much and will be willing to sacrifice a little comfort in order to help them out of a dire situation. But what if their attitude or lifestyle is more than you can stand? What if they completely wreck your home and refuse to help clean up the mess? What if they eat all your food, sit up all night watching TV, wash only their clothes in small loads, but never contribute to the grocery bill, power bill, or help pay for gas in the car? Or just generally make your life miserable? What do you do then? Do you just kick them back out onto the street? I know you'd hate to do that but you can only take so much, right? And they refuse to change and you've warned them time and time again but still no cooperation so what choice do you have? You've had enough and you're not going to take it anymore so out the door they go, right? Well,,,don't be so sure about that... As much as you'd like to get these people out of your house right this minute, most states have very strict tenant laws and it's illegal to throw them out without they having another place to go. This nightmare could continue for weeks or even months and there's little you can do about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to talk people out of this endeavor and sincerely hope that many of you decide to join Ms. Angela in helping your neighbors and friends in these troubling times. I just want you all to be careful and to consider all the possible consequences of your decision before jumping into something you may live to regret. A little discomfort or inconvience never hurt anyone and the rewards you will reap from being possibly a life-line to someone in need of a helping hand will follow you for a lifetime.
Best of luck and God bless everyone.
Preston
Preston,
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing, I started this blog almost one year ago... Shortly after, I began writing my "Welcome Week" words of encouragement and I did not pursue this blog. Today, I know that the topic I chose was extremely relevant and remains that way today.
Thank you for posting your concerns. Each of your concerns is extremely relevant. As you mention this is not something that you just walk into without considering who you are moving in with, how long the arrangement will last, and make sure you have very clear boundaries with regards to the living arrangement.
In fact, my discussion with my friend stressed the need for a third party to arrange these type of living arrangements to adequately address all the concerns you mentioned. Thank you for your participation... This blog is being revisited and new life is being breathed into this vehicle... I believe we need to discuss how to live this life successfully, and create the positive change we need in this country. Please feel free to share topic ideas and invite others to comment.
God Bless You,
Angela Rena